Letting Go Of Toxic Waste As An Author

Creative minds often don’t know what time off means. The wheel keeps spinning, and the world keeps on turning. If it stops, it often means the light went off. Creative minds don’t stop.

The World Is Not Enough

Letting go of toxic waste as an author is hard when reminiscing the past. Raised in a home where art became a priority to me was not easy. Standards were quite high and hard to reach.

Expectations were at a level where you needed a guy to crack a code to unlock a special weapon to get it. If you would ask my mother, she would probably say that it wasn’t at all like that, but in the head of a child, the story is often different and interpreted differently.

Looking back on my life, I am grateful for the education I received through acting, theatrical and cinema, modeling, classical ballet, music, and drawing. Those skills helped me feed the artist within and create a world for myself where I could cope with thoughts that poisoned me.

Artists are born with a more sensitive way to see the world. It is a scientific fact. The world needs artists to escape reality, but who help the artists escape their minds?

The world is a dark and gloomy place for artists. We try to make it better by using old folklores and bring them to life. We even create a futuristic world where even post-apocalyptic scenarios seem better than what we have now.

The Supra Project series I am writing, where all worlds are at war and losing freedom while tortured five ways to Sundays sounds better sometimes than caught here.

Surprised? Don’t be.

The Theme Behind Toxic Waste

Living in a house where my grandparents raised me had me grow up in a strange pattern. As a result, I would often find myself caught in between two different worlds.

Moreover, as an only child but also as an artist, I was never alone in my head. I wrote my first novel at the age of eleven. 220 pages of action by a hero determined to bring freedom to Earth 2 by stopping Earth 1 from invading.

Freedom was a theme. It is a theme to this day for many people. To welcome freedom is to learn to let go of those who prevent you from achieving that state of mind. Growing up in a strict house had me feel chains all around my body.

To this very day, I still have nightmares where I attempt to escape the house I grew up in, and it feels horrible. Letting go of toxic waste as an author is harder than I thought.

Ultimately, I learned that my desire for freedom spread through my veins the moment I realized I was captive. The people around me diminishing me, saying I always had my head in the clouds, I imagined things. Furthermore, I grew up hearing about how much of a black sheep I was to believe I could be an artist.

Toxic Waste In Disguise

Ultimately, if you’re an artist, it doesn’t matter what it is, don’t go to school for it. It is a waste of time and money. With the resourceful tutorials and schools online, it is enough to build yourself the most solid portfolio you need. As an artist, dedication is all you need.

I went to art schools, and met teachers in my twenties, they are jaded. It makes me believe they realize now they are obsolete, and art is taking a new meaning. Even the school in Montreal, I went to, the principal said, “Artists are made.” Never believe those words.

Artists are not dolls you make in a factory. You cannot make an artist. You can teach technique, but you cannot force imagination and creativity in someone’s head.

That is what I call toxic thinking. I always believed that teaching is a vocation, just like many careers out there — not everybody as the genetic coding for passing on to the next generation the learnings of the last. Artists have specific brain functionalities and a unique way of perceiving and observing people and scenery.

Artists are a vast people, heck. Many scientists are artists themselves because some of them look beyond the reality. It took the mind of a creative person to say, “We’ll go to the moon and come back.” You cannot teach those thoughts. You are born with those visions.

Ergo people want to brainwash you are toxic. So, letting go of toxic waste as an author is a good way to create scenes to kill people off. I’m doing it now and it’s great.

The Art Of Letting Go

Letting go is something almost impossible for me as a clinical OCD nutcase. Obsessing over small details or a sentence someone told me twenty years ago has no difference, I remember it. Forgiving is easy, forgetting when you have OCD, not so much. Often my answer is the same.

“I forgave you a long time ago. How do I remember it? Because I’m a nutcase with a mind that does not forget. I have OCD, not amnesia.”

As a result, letting go is not something easy for artists. I’m not saying we all have OCD. In general, artists have a unique way to feel emotions often deeper than others. For that reason alone, we process time to heal differently. Letting go is not easy.

Toxicity, when you bathed in it for as long as one can remember, it is hard to see which person or environment is hazardous versus the other. As hard as it is to believe, even toxic people are hard to let go because often they are your family and those you thought your friends.

As An Author

Moreover, choosing to cut people off it is hard, painful, and it drains much energy. Most likely, those people can’t understand your decision and might resent your thinking.

How one chooses to remove toxic waste from their lives is personal. These words sound harsh but prioritizing your mind through cutting people off your life sometimes is a choice one has to make.

Do not believe that because you walk away, you are weak. Letting go of toxic waste as an author is one of the hardest things we have to do. So, being weak couldn’t be farther from the truth. It takes strong people to stand alone.

As an author, I’m a natural introvert and a bit to the extreme of it. It wasn’t any easier for me because those I cut off are hard to avoid in certain circumstances.

My mother is one I was far from for the longest. Then we grew closer only to grow apart again. Seeing my mother on Facebook liking a post here and there, supporting in her unique way, is hurtful. The reason behind the pain I live in the random act of “at least I did that.”

Toxic Waste Release

There is no magic pill or scientific algorithm to avoid the inevitable. Some relationships die on their own, and toxic people remove themselves. Ever since I became an author and professional artist, I lost many friends and cut off my entire family.

The people remaining in my life are those I know stay by my side. They are present when I’m at my ugliest and thrive with me at my best. Artists are stronger than one can think, but we are also the hardest on ourselves, and people take advantage of us.

People think we are desperate for exposure and would do anything to prostitute our art. They think we are always sleeping and never working—which is a common misconception thanks to Hollywood.

The majority of people laugh at artists and look down on us. They think we are fragile because they see us explode. Our backbone is titanium, people don’t realize it, because they don’t see the months of accumulation of judgmental toxic entities.

Last Words

Hypothetically, if a nuclear war would be to happen and let’s say about a third of the world would survive and adapt. On average, the lifespan of the generations that would follow would be of twenty to twenty-five years. We’re talking about humans adapting to radiation.

Furthermore, in the past called Dark Ages, two-thirds of Europe lost the fight against the plague. Here we are, overpopulating the planet. It doesn’t make it okay. It just means that we force ourselves to adapt to toxicity.

In conclusion, letting go of toxic waste as an author is hard. Don’t make a habit out of thinking it’s natural to be around toxic people. Nature gets rid of toxicity. We can accomplish the same. I call it “Purging.” It’s been good to me.

Additionally, surround yourself with people that shields you from toxic people and environment and be kind enough to do the same for them. Be the cleansing, not toxic waste.

The OCD Nerd,
Alexa Wayne

Published by Autumn Loup Wolfe

I am an Epic Fantasy and Historical Fiction author. I am a fan of J.R.R. Tolkien, Terry Brooks, Bernard Cornwell and Oliver Bowden.

One thought on “Letting Go Of Toxic Waste As An Author

  1. Another fabulous posting alexa!!! You are one of the most talented people I know!!! Just remember when self doubt creeps in that you are F##king Fabulous!!! Shared on my socials!!💋💋💖😉

    Liked by 1 person

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